Just in time for Halloween, we present to you The Thing That Came from the Attic. The unholy demon creature was pulled out of the Crowleytown Schoolhouse in Mullica Township by Doug Laubert, who hasn't the slightest idea of what it is. "The general consensus is that maybe it's a deformed flying squirrel," Laubert said of the freakish mummy-thing. "Maybe it's a salamander - but it has hair! Maybe it's a chipmunk - but it has a fish tail! When I first saw it, I thought it was a mudskipper - but it has teeth!"
All he knows is that mysterious crypto-creature was found in an area where no one has set foot for at least 30 years. He had punched a hole in a panel to run some TV cable through it, and there it was in all of its glory.
He and his family have thought up some names for the ungodly fish-being, among them "The Spawn of the Jersey Devil" and his nephew's suggestion, "Herman the Vermin."
Press nature columnist Kevin Post chimed in that "Herman" could be a dried up mudpuppy, until he saw the hair and teeth. Other suggestions thrown around included some kind of bat, a rodent, or the Fiji Mermaid.
Whatever it is, Laubert - who, incidentally, is on the ballot next week for a spot as a Mullica committeeman - plans to preserve the tiny gremlin-corpse forever. It will take its place of honor in his collection, he said, next to a dead cat with a glass eye named "Sammy."
So if you see something like this in your own home, whether it's slowly crawling along your floor or simply creeping unseen into your bed in the middle of the night, just try not to look directly into its eyes.
Strange Corpse Discovered New Jersey
Strange Corpse Discovered New Jersey
